My appointment was at 8 am and and I was SO nervous. I couldnt' even eat breakfast because I was on the verge of throwing up because of how anxious/nervous I was. But why? It's not like she was going to tell me something I didn't ALREADY know. I guess the fact that for the first time in a LONG time I was going to have to address one of my biggest fears/disappointments head on instead of running away from it or sweeping it under the rug (which is what I've been doing for the past 4+ years). Almost 2 hours later I felt a sense of relief and left that office with a new found determination and excitement. My time line gives me a year until I can transfer. It won't be easy (I know that) but for the first time in a reallllly long time I know that I won't fail. This next year doesn't just bring challenges, it brings new possibilities. Come on girly, it's time to get your shit together! There wiill be no more sabotaging myself. Although I should have had this meeting a LONG time ago I can't beat myself over it now. It is what it is. I need to "accept the things I cannot change" and move forward with my life, for myself.
Now...what about my work life? Work is just a MESS. I have literally no idea what to do. I'm at a job I hate, about to quit when I get offered a different (better) position. And although they are willing to work with me and my schedule I can't seem to jump at the opportunity. I am not willing to once again put my schooling on the back burner and i'm also not sure if i'm willing to put my happiness on the back burner either. Am I willing to struggle with bills etc. just so I wont wake up hating life everytime I have to go to work? Gaaaaahdddd what do I do?
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