His words melt my heart

"Home is a strange concept, one that I have meditated upon from a very young age. I am a true believer in being proud of where you come from. If my travels have taught me anything it's that places, like people, are a combination of flawed and beautiful, but most are worthy of one's time, exploration, forgiveness and defense. No place is perfect, but then again, what truly beautiful thing is?

 Where I come from is no exception. Still, for every fake breast and botox injection there are infinite grains of sand for me to rest my feet upon. For every strip mall, off ramp and teenage mercedes benz driver there is a kid ditching school in pursuit of that noble, perfect wave. When I left here for Los Angeles I was feeble, injured and shaken. A worn textile with all fraying edges. I had not quit believing in myself all together, but I drifted that direction with alarming regularity.
I say these things because life should be a conversation. I say them because what I choose to project of myself is too often a fraction of my personal truth and it exhausts me. Still, I cannot deny that in losing myself I often learn more about the life I should be living and begin living it. I'd like to think I am in such a moment now. If I didn't drift so freely and occasionally pack without my compass, this home of mine would be useless and my bones, though weary still, would be without direction. We are where we come from. Shame is useless and running is a fools errand. I am a tourist of this planet but on a cellular level I am a Southern Californian, and I am proud.  There have been countless moments in the past five years I thought I had forgotten who I was. It occurs to me now that I was simply in the process of remembering."

♥

New week....

another chance to start over.  Start this week off with a much better attitude than i've had these past couple of days.  Start it off with a smile and a positive outlook on the week ahead.  I will try to not sweat the small stuff and work with what god gives me.

#letsdothis

It's easier said than done.  God,  please help me accept the things (&people) I cannot change.

How To Be Alone

I wish I could be there for them in their time of grief they way they [she] was there for me, in mine.  They say that "absense makes the heart grow fonder..." well it also makes losses like this a little more bearable.  When death happens you always think about the things you should have said, the things you should have done, the time you should have spent etc.  Right now all I can be is grateful for what we did have.  When death happens it makes me think that there has to be something bigger than us.  A better place to look forward to, a bigger picture to complete.  There has to be.

I'm so dissapointed in our world.  I hate turning on the news now.  I hate that election year is coming even more.  What has happened to our humanity?  When did we stop caring between right and wrong?  When did we stop caring about each other?


Where do we begin?

Definition

What did I learn from yesterdays ordeal?
I learned to always make sure I have my key before I lock  ANY door.  I learned that JJ is afraid of climbing ladders (especially if they're old and on a slope) and I learned that Carlos is a life saver.  And I also learned (better yet was reminded) that some people will never change and that I should stop being surprised by their actions.  All in all what started out as nothing short of a disasterous afternoon ended with nothing but laughs and smiles in the early hours of the next morning.  And today I am thankful for my friends.  The people that teach me on a daily basis something new about the world or myself.  Who (although not always an easy task) make me want to open my eyes (and heart) to new things and ideas.  And for the friends that I can call when I lock myself out of my room and need someone to climb up a ladder and in through my window.

"Your reminding me of life lessons, you ain't showing me nothing new girl."-Marcus


Moral of the story: Remember what you ALREADY know.